Poetry: Harry Potter and the Evocative Epitaphs

Among the many All Hallows’ Eve festivities at The Hog’s Head (which you ought to visit if you haven’t) was a friendly competition to come up with poetic epitaphs for characters from the Harry Potter series. There were lots of really good entries, both original and re-appropriated, some entertaining and some very moving.

I contributed a few trifles of my own, not being able to resist the opportunity to write silly things about the nasty demise of unpleasant characters, and was rather surprised to find that the last of them won in the “best original” category, netting me a fairly awesome bag of tricks and treats. What can I say?

So, for those who enjoy reading silly things that rhyme, here are my entries. Be sure to visit the original post to read the other worthy entries, and join some fun conversation at the Hog’s Head. Happy Potterween!

.    .    .    .    .

Here lies Fenrir Greyback,
We recommend you stay back.

.    .    .    .    .

He never drank wine and he never has tea:
Here lies Sanguini, occasionally.

.    .    .    .    .

For Miss DELORES JANE UMBRIDGE,
O gentle reader shed a tear,
Whose violence toward Muggles is
The reason she’s no longer here.

She went to cast a nasty curse
On Mrs. Lark, who lived next door,
But something in the Muggle’s purse
Made it rebound against the floor,

And struck poor Umbridge in the face,
Transforming her into a newt,
Which Mrs. Lark, with no disgrace,
Dispatched beneath a hobnailed boot.

And that is why, thanks to the Muggles,
Delores Requiescat in puddles.

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