Dec 232011

Hey, everybody! It’s the last day of Kistchmas, so let’s play Holiday Mashup! Here’s how it works: You take the Nativity story and something else that’s nothing at all like the Nativity story, and you put them together and see what you get!

Ready? Go!


The prophets fortell the chosen one
Who makes my bathtime lots of fun…


What child is this, who, laid to rest,
has a corncob pipe and a button nose and two eyes made out of coal?


And she shall give birth to a son, and shall call his name Gerald McBoing-Boing.


And ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a fishbowl.


“What a lovely baby, Mr. Frodo!” “Thanks, Sam; he’s so precious.”


And lo, faith and begorrah, three wise men came bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and me lucky charms….


And so, after defeating the Great Pumpkin, the Easter Bunny brought the baby Jesus to Santa and the Angel, and they put him in the manger, and… and if he sees his shadow it will be winter for six more weeks. The end.


If that isn’t enough holiday cheer, may I recommend The Year Kenny Loggins Ruined Christmas by the sublimely funny Hyperbole and a Half:

And so, as Tiny Tim observed, “God help us, every one!”

Merry Kitschmas to all and to all a good night.