Return of the Christian Album Covers!

Just when you thought it was safe to go to the thrift store…. They’re back! 

Yes, you remember those hilariously horrible old Christian album covers I found in one of my old silly posts? Unbelievably tacky pictures from a bygone era of people who were trying to be really cool, and failing dismally, and thinking they succeeded? Kitschy graphic design paired with outmoded fashion that seemed like a good idea at the time? Inspirational reflections on the transitory nature of cynicism?

I found some more!

I always appreciate a positive, uplifting message.

When baptism goes horribly, horribly wrong.

They say: “She has desecrated our brother’s remains and made them into a talking puppet. There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of men for this treachery.”

“…It was just what I wanted. The socks were nice too. Next Christmas I want a Klondike Bar.”

Pick a caption:
A. “Dude. They’re like, right in front of you.”
B. The chilling beginning of the first Christian zombie movie.
C. “Man’s most puzzling question?” That’s a grave mistake.

“Hello? St. Cecelia? Yeah, I just wanted to make sure– it’s E, B, G, D, A, E, right? OK, thanks, bye.”

Instead of being punks with guns,
You should all be monks and nuns!
Yaaaay!

Folk-inspired reinterpretations of the religious music of Henry VIII.

Squeeeeeeeeeee! He’s bigger than the Beatles!

“But whenever I ask Him what He thinks of my suit, He changes the subject.”

All new: the amazing Divine Wrestling workout! Act now for this limited time offer! Exercise just seconds a day and see the life-changing improvement in your wardrobe!
*Results not typical.

Shortly afterward, the “Cardiology by Correspondence” class was shut down.

My, he’s aged well.

No, no– The image consultant said you should look more like Lennon, not Lenin.

Come on, we all can guess who this is…

And finally, the winner:

Truth in advertising?

See also: Christian Album Covers: The Hall of Silliness