May 272011
 

Just when you thought it was safe to go to the thrift store…. They’re back! 

Yes, you remember those hilariously horrible old Christian album covers I found in one of my old silly posts? Unbelievably tacky pictures from a bygone era of people who were trying to be really cool, and failing dismally, and thinking they succeeded? Kitschy graphic design paired with outmoded fashion that seemed like a good idea at the time? Inspirational reflections on the transitory nature of cynicism?

I found some more!

All My Friends Are Dead

I always appreciate a positive, uplifting message.

Pouring Water on a Drowning Man

When baptism goes horribly, horribly wrong.

Geraldine and Ricky: Trees Talk Too!

They say: “She has desecrated our brother’s remains and made them into a talking puppet. There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of men for this treachery.”

Thank You For The Dove

“…It was just what I wanted. The socks were nice too. Next Christmas I want a Klondike Bar.”

Pick a caption:
A. “Dude. They’re like, right in front of you.”
B. The chilling beginning of the first Christian zombie movie.
C. “Man’s most puzzling question?” That’s a grave mistake.

Hot Line To Heaven

“Hello? St. Cecelia? Yeah, I just wanted to make sure– it’s E, B, G, D, A, E, right? OK, thanks, bye.”

Undercover: Boys and Girls, Renounce the World

Instead of being punks with guns,
You should all be monks and nuns!
Yaaaay!

Swing That Gospel Axe

Folk-inspired reinterpretations of the religious music of Henry VIII.

Here Comes Jesus

Squeeeeeeeeeee! He’s bigger than the Beatles!

Jesus Loves Me

“But whenever I ask Him what He thinks of my suit, He changes the subject.”

I Wrestled With God

All new: the amazing Divine Wrestling workout! Act now for this limited time offer! Exercise just seconds a day and see the life-changing improvement in your wardrobe!
*Results not typical.

Healer of Broken Hearts

Shortly afterward, the “Cardiology by Correspondence” class was shut down.

King David Sings

My, he’s aged well.

Sings Your Requests

No, no– The image consultant said you should look more like Lennon, not Lenin.

The Mystery Singer

Come on, we all can guess who this is

And finally, the winner:

Truth in advertising?

See also: Christian Album Covers: The Hall of Silliness