Jan 062011
 
As my long-time readers and commenters know, I always enjoy getting thoughtful questions that I can answer for you. Going through my year-end Google Analytics report for 2010, I saw that a lot of people discovered this website by searching online with questions of their own. Naturally, lots of them led to information I've written about already, but others were more… unique. So I thought I'd take some time to start the new year off by answering some of last year's most… unique… questions from Googlers that led them here. Two of the answers are even serious.
  • how do i take away the annoying snd music?
    (I recommend snd earplugs.)

  • how good a piano player was keith green?
    (About as good as Ben Folds, not quite as good as Ken Medema, but better than Elton John. That was one of the serious answers.)
  • how to know a snake in spiritual terms
    (Don't judge it by its scaly appearance; take time to listen and understand what it's hissing about.)
  • how to fight off spiritual snakes
    (Prayer, or rehab, or both.)
  • how does one develop a mind like jesus
    (Vote for… You know, that one deserves a serious answer. Go read Philippians 2 and then you'll know.)
  • if someone followed you, would they know the true meaning of christmas?
    (No, because the true meaning of Christmas is to follow Jesus.)
  • is proudtobeachristianfruitcake really christian?
    (I can't say, but I find that most things that say they are proud to be Christians tend to be Christians.)
  • is theology a joke?
    (Hoo boy, wait till you hear the punchline!)
  • is christmas tree religious?
    (I don't know, but mine appears to be built around a Festivus Pole.)
  • name to use from proverbs 31 for my business using my hand
    (How about "Safely Trust, LLC." Slogan: "She perceiveth her merchandise is good.")
  • percent of people in the usa who do not believe in the true meaning of christmas
    (Interestingly, it can be correlated to the percent of people in the USA who haven't yet been visited by three ghosts.)
  • what happens when robots smoke crack?
    (This. Danger, Will Robinson, danger!)
  • what happened to the meaning of christmas?
    (Probably the Grinch stole it.)
  • what is the true meaning of christmas? is it the "tree"?
    (Close, but no eggnog. I'll give you two more guesses…)
  • when we fail in road driving test it remarks da/v what does it mean
    (It means my insurance prices stay down another year. Thanks, kid!)
  • who am i worship when i decorate my house with christmas tree?
    (If you don't know, this may be a problem.)
  • who do people not believe in christmas rees
    (Um… Roger Rees?… May I phone a friend?)
  • why st. peter jokes?
    (Because. Why not?)
  • does christmas have a spiritual meaning?
    (We're sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again.)

Here are my other favorite search queries of the year!

– eric pazdiora (This was the #1 search keyword of the year from Google for this site! I'm glad to know that it works even when, ahem, you spell my name wrong.)
– christian music not tacky
– evil meaning of christmas
– rudolph the red nosed reindeer bible study
– "can't find that person. did you misspell the name?" (…yeah, I can see how that wound up at my website…)
– a great single man's biography that will attract females
– fractured christmas elf
– i love to be singel proverb
– i think my mother is an ideal virtuous person
– ideal friday night for single man (…pizza, beer, James Bond marathon.)
– just grace and the snake attack (…I want to see that movie. Now.)
– mister tacky
– some people were put here just to besmirch the earth (…and this leads to my website? Thanks a lot, Google.)

And how about some special link love to the top five referring sites that got people here– drumroll please:

1. Quivering Daughters

2. Recovering Alumni

3. The Hog's Head

4. The Cult Next Door

5. The Paradoxes of Mr. Pond

Thanks, everybody, for your support. I'm delighted that people read what I have to say and/or listen to my music. By the way, if you have a question you'd like me to write about, feel free to contact me. I'll even make the answer less silly for you.

Happy New Decade to all. 

  • These were awesome! I especially liked search query #6!!! I wish I’d saved all of the interesting ones I read on mine…I did have some doozies.

    • Oh, I can only imagine….

      Our friend Jenna had some unbelievable ones on her blog which partly inspired me… including “Will she ever finish the dang dishes?”

  • I read this to Dave. We got a good chuckle out of it. Man, oh man. Hysterical. Gosh…I need to go check my blog stats. I know I have read some pretty interesting ones that left my head shaking back and forth.

  • Rolling on the floor howling with laughter!
    “How to know a snake in spiritual terms” will provide laughter untold in my days to come 🙂
    Brilliant!
    Thanks for shout out for the blog 🙂
    Keep the laughter coming please!

  • Weirdest google search that pointed to my blog

    “when i’m kissin you i fantasize you’re a midget”

    Embarrassingly my blog was the ONLY result.

    • And now there’s two results. Ohhhh dear.

      • Oops. Sorry.

        …it is better to give than receive…

  • ProudToBeAChristianFruitcake

    I am the owner of what used to be the Xanga site ProudToBeAChristianFruitcake, and now the site is on Wordpess. If the question was about one of these two sites, Yes, I can assure you I am a Christian. I have been since I was 16. Anyone is free to reach me at ProudToBeAChristianFruitcake@yahoo.com

    • Still not sure how Google brought that to my site, but glad we finally cleared it up! 🙂